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Couldn’t we be happily ever after?
We could be strong together for so long
Couldn’t we be happily ever after
Leavin’ you never ’till forever’s gone

I’m just back from Charleston, SC, getting my best friend over that broom. This was my first time playing maid-of-honor and I’m not going to lie, I hope it’s the last! It requires a lot of patience, something a sista like me struggles with big time! It turned out to be a lovely affair though. Even though the heavens opened up the night before, the sun was shining brightly on her day. I even cried, although it was mostly tears of joy that I got to walk with the finest groomsman.

I must admit that I’ve been skeptical about this marriage from the beginning. There are so many things that have happened between them that I personally would not put up with. However, the key word is “I.” That’s their relationship and everyone has different levels of tolerance. During the weekend as I observed them and talked with the groom a bit more, I began to see why they work. I felt better about standing up there in support of their life together, and not just support for my best friend.

Full disclosure time: I’m skeptical about marriage in general. Are two people really meant to be together – and remain monogamous – until death they do part? Is that realistic? Is there such a thing as soul mates and “happily ever after?” I go back and forth on it. I haven’t become jaded to the point that I don’t think it exists. I just wonder if everyone is meant to find it. Then if you do find it, how do you keep it and maintain it? I hear marriage is work, almost like having another job. Who needs that ? I observe my mother’s marriage and how she has to have the patience of Job to put up with her eccentric husband. I just don’t know.

I did have good conversations with the two matrons of honor, both happily married for several years. One if a preacher’s wife and swears by this book called The Covenant Marriage by Gary Chapman. She credits it for helping her avoid many meaningless conflicts in her relationship and was encouraging single folks to read it before they even got involved. I plan to pick it up and add it to my backlog of books to be read. Hey, I might just learn something.

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