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by vivrant thang on side eye of the week


New feature that’s been rattling around in the brain for a while. EveryMost Fridays, I’ll highlight one or several things that occurred during that particular week that caused my side eye to twitch to the point where my special drops wouldn’t even help!

I’ve been talking slick about “Mayor” KilpaTRICK all week long (here and here) and I had no plans to devote a whole post to his foolishness. Especially when Average Bro and Skeptical Brotha  do it SO much better with these hilarious (as in laughing to keep from crying) posts.

However, when I read this on the Entrepreneur Magazine site, my side eye started twitching.  I know people that live there so I got heated all over again.

Whether you’re looking for an investment property or a place to live, here’s a look at the cities you should seek out and avoid in 2008.

Places to Avoid


  • Detroit, Michigan: The job market is in chaos. People are getting laid off left and right. National statistics seem to point to a significant problem with job loss and job income not keeping up with inflation. As a result, many nice neighborhoods are now abandoned due to people leaving their homes. Inventories exceed one year (under six months is what we want to see), and the foreclosure problem hit Detroit hard. With fewer jobs to support home purchases, I don’t see Detroit turning around anytime soon.

Hellll no, it won’t be turning around anytime soon because “Mayor” Phone Bone is too busy humping around to actually attend to the affairs of his crumbling city! He’s been involved in all kinds of tomfoolery for years and gotten away with it. As mayor of a city like Detroit (hell, any city), if you got time to send 14,000 non-work related texts, clearly you’re not on your job. Aren’t there some plans and initiatives that needed his attention while he was skulking around with ole girl at the Snooty Fox Motel?

But you know, what he did certainly isn’t anything new. He’s been involved in all kinds of nonsense for years and gotten away with it. Besides, sex scandals are as common as a cold these days for Black and White leaders alike.

So Vivrant Thang, why you gotta hold Kwame to a higher standard than those White officials? Because he’s Black?

Hellll yea! You want to know one major reason why? Because he is raising three Black boys, including a set of twins that are at a very impressionable age.  What kind of message is this sending to them? He has continued to give the city and his poor contituents the finger by repeatedly abusing the oath he took and costing the poor taxpayers nine millions dollars? Can you imagine the ways that could have been put to better use? So what does that teach his kids about responsiblity? About having integrity? Moral values? Hell, about being a MAN, which after all is his primary responsibility in life as their father.

Then he dishonors his marriage and publicly humiliates their mother, a black woman, and put all their business in the streets. What are they learning about commitment? Hell, again, about being a MAN?

But Vivrant Thang, Kwame is human. Isn’t he allowed to make mistakes?

Sure. And after watching this oh so heartfelt apology, during which I struggled not to break out my smallest violin, I’m sure many people’s hearts were breaking for him and his family. You know how we can be so forgiving of our leaders when they fall. At the end, while appearing to be close to tears, he’s kind enough to break down how all the ways the city has prospered under his six year tenure. Touching huh?

Hellll no, I’m not touched. “Carmen Slowsky” was though as she and the “Mayor” were holed up for the weekend in some cozy resort in North Carolina where he was speaking at an MLK Day event. Once again, his wife and kids were at home while he was slapping it, flipping it and rubbing it down on the organizer’s dime (which they may ask him to repay). How dumb can you be? What’s next? Are we gonna get the Eric Benet defense?

I don’t totally blame him though.

What was I saying earlier about raising Black sons? Whether this was for show or not (doubt it) and his mother, Michigan Congresswoman Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick, was  slapping him all up in his face behind closed doors (doubt it), it comes off as ignorant and dismissive of what he did wrong, which was once again, say to hell with his oath and his constituents.

Congresswoman Kilpatrick was right about one thing though. The video was from his 2006 re-election campaign, after he had already spent his first first term blowing the city’s money on all kinds of debauchary and self-indulgence like in-house lapdances from “Strawberry. “  Obviously, the citizens of Detroit re-elected their “boy.”

BOY indeed. They got that part right.

At the end of the day, aside from the wanderings of his magic stick,  it’s all about accountability. I hope he gets what he deserves, which is a nice vacation in Oz.  We would have stayed out of your bedroom antics had your lies and alibies not cost Detroit millions. Sure, the economics conditions in that city are part of a larger issue. However, as the mayor, you’re supposed to be helping, not hurting.

Therefore, Kwame KilpaTRICK, you get the side eye of the week week week.

Update 2/3/08: I found this posting from a Detrot resident on a Topix message board. Ole boy may just need to get the side eye of the month month month.

I cannot believe the ignorance of some of the people in Detroit making comments on the news such as, ” He said he was sorry, we all make mistakes, its time we forgive him and move on”

What kind of people think like this. ( Her guess is as good as mine)

He LIED UNDER OATH, HE BROKE the LAW. Its not our place to forgive him for the affair and for him to ask us to is just wrong.

This plea for forgiveness last night was just a ploy to divert the attention of the fact that he lied and has been lying to the people of Detroit for many years now. (Yessir!)

Lets talk about the explorer, Lets talk about the missing stripper, lets talk about all his uses of TAX dollars used for selfindulgance. ( Wellll!)

Its very simple he LIED under oath, he lied to the people of Detroit. He has been nothing but an embarrassment to the STATE of Michigan.

I so sick of people saying we should focus on the good he as done for this City.
WHAT good has he done? Someone make a list for me. We live in dilapidated neighborhoods. The schools look like school in a third world country.

Falling down abandoned homes, crack houses, CITIZENS of Detroit stripping houses in broad day light. Dogs running the neighborhood. Citizens throwing trash on other peoples lawns, I have actually witnessed people stopping there cars on a side street to get out and pee on someone’s house or fence.

Maybe it’s because the people of Detroit find how they live is acceptable. Maybe they find having a Mayor with such blatant disregard for its citizens is acceptable. I think its disgusting. (You’re not the only one!)

Tell me people, what good has he done. In the last 4 years I have only seen the neighborhoods decline to a war zone appearance. Yet the property taxes have gone up.

KK needs to step down, his legacy is an embarrassment to the City and the State of Michigan.

Step up people and have some PRIDE. (Preach!)


    *with love to Huggy Low Down and Butta