, , ,

by vivrant thang on what about your friends

What about your friends will they stand their ground
Will they let you down again
What about your friends are they gonna be low down
Will they ever be around or will they turn their backs on you

I know a sista has been a little scarce around these parts over the last couple of weeks or so – slacking in the comment response and such. I still love ya’ll but I have been going through a couple of things, as you can probably tell by today’s ‘song in the key of my life.’

True friendship has always been very important to me. Over the years, I have had lots of associates and activity partners as I’m the type of person people are drawn to. However, I can count the number of true, ride-or-die friends that have come into my life over the past 30 3/4 years – that are still in my life today – and have plenty of fingers left over. And that’s okay. I don’t think you need that many.

My best friend and I met during our sophomore year of college. Our friendship has certainly been battle tested, but she has truly been there for me and I know she’s real. She actually introduced me to another woman and our friendship grew to the point that I just knew she would be one of those lifetime friends. She was there for me during the break-up last year (one of the people who kept me from catching a case). She encouraged me when I thought I would never escape from the mental imprisonment that was my former job. I have been there for her over the past few years that we’ve known each other in similar ways.

Our relationship has mostly grown over the phone because we’ve always lived in different states and have never had the chance to hang out extensively. Recently we had the opportunity to spend some time together and let’s just say, a sista’s eyes were wide open  when she boarded the plane back to DC.

Let me explain. This is a bit uncomfortable for me to talk about because I’m a modest woman. However, this is also something that my mother has had to deal with all of her life and it’s the reason why at 61 years-old, she does not have any female friends. Not one.


Whether it’s the way she carries herself, the way she dresses…or simply who she is, she has always drawn insecure women to her that eventually hurt her in a major  way because they were jealous or envious of her. Yes, a couple of them have admitted it to her after the friendships were over.

Appears I’m following in her footsteps…at least with this friend.

Two weeks before my birthday, she did something to me which I will eventually forgive, but never ever ever forget. As a result, the friendship is over. Has to be – because the trust and respect I had for her is completely gone. (Yes, this was a biggie.) I never thought that she was the type of woman to let her insecurities get the best of her to the point where she would intentionally do something as hurtful as she has done to someone that is supposed to be friend.

This isn’t an easy thing to admit but when I was heavier, I had some of those same insecurities. So besides the fact that I am highly intuitive, I recognized what some of her behavior was really saying when we were hanging out because I’ve felt a lot of the same things. However, I have never let those feelings cause me to hurt my true friends intentionally.

Luckily, although I’m not religious, I am spiritual and I do have faith. I definitely believe in everything happening for a reason and that life’s events, good and bad, are all part of a larger plan. I know that there’s a reason why this happened and I am just waiting for the lesson to be revealed.

Folks, even if you don’t have romantic love in your life, please cherish your true friendships. They are hard to come by – and even harder to keep.

Enough of this shit.

Be sure to stop by tomorrow to celebrate the birthday of the 8th Wonder of the World – none other than Mr. Stevie Wonder! You know we gonna part-tay up in this joint! No Stevie, no Songs In The Key of Life. So ponder your favorite Stevie joints tonight, as I know you have many, and be ready to share with me tomorrow.

If you’re celebrating Stevie on your blog tomorrow, be sure to leave a note in the comments so I can link you up.