Category Archives: Feeding The Music Jones

Closer

15 Monday Oct 2007

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Feels so close it’s like i can just reach
I can feel my dreams
I’m moving closer to my dreams
I’m moving higher and higher

I’ve always had a vivid imagination. When I was younger, I would write stories with characters doing things that were way beyond the what my 11 or 12 year old mind should be able to conceive. Now mind you, I was an 80s kid. You know back in the day when kids were actually kids. Anywho, even back then, I was always able to conceive of what my future might look like. It always felt like something so far away, but it was real….down to the most minute details.

I guess I’ve always taken this gift of imagination for granted. Until recently, I’ve never realized that it’s a gift to be able to paint a vivid portrait of how I see my future. A friend and I formed a goal setting group some months ago and are in the process of writing our five year plans. Part of the exercise was to write a vision statement, a detailed description of how we saw our lives on a particular day five years from now.

I dashed this off in less than 10 minutes, although I can’t say I spend a lot of time thinking about it now or in the past for that matter. It’s just something I know. I know what I want my ideal work day to look like, the extracurricular activities I want to fill up my free time, what my relationship status will be like….it’s all about the vision. If you can envision it, you can create it and make it happen.

Everyone doesn’t have the ability to create that vision in their minds or they think that what they envision is so unrealistic that they won’t let themselves see it. Well why not? I envision myself only working three days out of the week….and when I say working, I don’t mean punching anybody’s clock. I imagine my husband and I picking up and going on long vacations whenever we damn well please. Who’s to say that can’t happen? I’m only limited by my imagination and what I am able to dream.

Happily Ever After?

20 Thursday Sep 2007

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Couldn’t we be happily ever after?
We could be strong together for so long
Couldn’t we be happily ever after
Leavin’ you never ’till forever’s gone

I’m just back from Charleston, SC, getting my best friend over that broom. This was my first time playing maid-of-honor and I’m not going to lie, I hope it’s the last! It requires a lot of patience, something a sista like me struggles with big time! It turned out to be a lovely affair though. Even though the heavens opened up the night before, the sun was shining brightly on her day. I even cried, although it was mostly tears of joy that I got to walk with the finest groomsman.

I must admit that I’ve been skeptical about this marriage from the beginning. There are so many things that have happened between them that I personally would not put up with. However, the key word is “I.” That’s their relationship and everyone has different levels of tolerance. During the weekend as I observed them and talked with the groom a bit more, I began to see why they work. I felt better about standing up there in support of their life together, and not just support for my best friend.

Full disclosure time: I’m skeptical about marriage in general. Are two people really meant to be together – and remain monogamous – until death they do part? Is that realistic? Is there such a thing as soul mates and “happily ever after?” I go back and forth on it. I haven’t become jaded to the point that I don’t think it exists. I just wonder if everyone is meant to find it. Then if you do find it, how do you keep it and maintain it? I hear marriage is work, almost like having another job. Who needs that ? I observe my mother’s marriage and how she has to have the patience of Job to put up with her eccentric husband. I just don’t know.

I did have good conversations with the two matrons of honor, both happily married for several years. One if a preacher’s wife and swears by this book called The Covenant Marriage by Gary Chapman. She credits it for helping her avoid many meaningless conflicts in her relationship and was encouraging single folks to read it before they even got involved. I plan to pick it up and add it to my backlog of books to be read. Hey, I might just learn something.

Golden

05 Wednesday Sep 2007

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I’m taking my own freedom / Putting it in my song
Singing loud and strong / Grooving all day long

When did you first fall in love with music?

I still remember my first pink boom box and how I would let my tape rock ’til my tape popped. Salt and Pepa talking about “Push it real good!” Big Daddy Kane aka “Smooth Operator” used to get raw through my speakers. And of course I had the requisite LL Cool J poster on my wall from Word Up magazine, imagining I was the Around the Way girl he needed. He wouldn’t be talking about needing love if only he met me. Yes, indeed, I wanted to go and talk to Devante; wrote 4-page letters with Aaliyah; felt Sisqo’s pain as if I had found someone sleeping in my bed.

I didn’t think it could get no better. Until I first heard D’Angelo crooning something about that brown sugar baby. I sure did get high up off his love and didn’t know how to behave! It was as if Mary was my girl talking me through the pain of unrequited love ’cause surely we both were going down if “he” wasn’t around. Who remembers forgetting to wonder just what Erykah had under that head wrap as she mesmerized you with “On and On?” Just like I’ll never forget where I was when I heard that Luther was gone, I vividly recall the day an old high school friend told me to run, not walk and pick up this hot new album that would bless me the moment I pressed play. Skeptical, I asked, “Who is Jill Scott?”

Music has and always will play a huge part in my life. It soothes, stimulates, lifts, focuses, inspires, prepares, drives me…and a million other things that I hope to share in this space. I have been marinating on my presence in the blogosphere for months now. I read a variety of blogs ranging from personal, humor, political, social, celebrity, sports, nonprofit, technology, books…generally everything that interests me. What did I have to add to the conversation? I knew it would be a personal blog, but what would be the slant. I kept coming back to the advice: write about what you love.

So here we are.

I’m not sure where we’ll go from here. I just know that I have a lot to say and it all will be framed by music, one of my greatest loves.

Are you ready? Let’s Rock.