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by vivrant thang on side eye of the week


Much to my chagrin, there were multiple things that made my side-eye twitch this week. Let’s jump right in, shall we?

Oh Really, Madge?

Madonna compares the plight of “poor” Britney to what African people have to endure.

“When you think about the way people treat each other in Africa, about witchcraft and people inflicting cruelty and pain on each other, then come back here and, you know, people taking pictures of people when they’re in their homes, being taken to hospitals, or suffering, and selling them, getting energy from them, that’s a terrible infliction of cruelty. So who’s worse off? You know what I mean?”

I vote HELL NO, I don’t know what you mean.

Now THIS deserves a ‘HO SIT DOWN’ in my opinion. I could devote an entire post to how many things are wong with this statement but I won’t bother. This is the way she chooses to shed light on Africa? Save it.

Is this a set-up to adopt poor Britney or is she just trying to stir up shit since she has an album coming out? If this is for publicity, let me not give her anymore help.

Lady, You Got Issues. Check Yourself.

I was enjoying a leisurely lunch the other day at a spot where the tables are practically on top of each other. So you can’t help but be privy to others conversations – whether you want to be or not. Two middle-aged women, one black and one white, were sitting next to me chatting away. After a period of sitting there silently willing them to shut the hell up so I could enjoy my book and lunch in peace, I had no choice but to really listen to what they were saying. The black woman was telling the white woman about a baby in her family that was “ugly” when it was born because it was “really, really dark.” However, when she she got older and lightened up a bit, she got cuter.

That’s YOUR girl. I’m not claiming her.

I Almost Yanked Up An Ungrateful Little Crumbsnatcher

I was leaving Tar-jay (with too many damn bags – why is it you can never just get what you went for in that place) and a father and his two sons were entering. The father was carrying the younger son and the older one was walking beside them. He was about five or six. He says to his father, “Why don’t you spoil us?” I look at the father and he looks at me, shaking his head. I wanted to snatch that kid up and say, “DON’T YOU KNOW WE’RE PRACTICALLY IN A RECESSION? HAVE YOU SEEN THE PRICE OF GAS? FOOD? YOUR LITTLE ASS IS EATING A BUNCH OF JUNK EVERYDAY, AREN’T YOU? YOU ARE SPOILED, TRUST ME!”

Vivrant loves the kids.

These Mofos Are Going STRAIGHT To Hell

You may remember my outrage over the horrific story of Banita Jacks, the woman that murdered her four daughters and left them rot in an upstairs bedroom for an indeterminate amount of time. It still haunts me.

Now I hear that several family members are bringing their trifling asses up out the woodwork, including two of the baby daddies, and plan to sue the city for negligence. One of the fathers is suing for $25 million. Mind you, this nigga (had to resurrect it) was delinquent on the child support.

Where were all these fools when that woman was losing her mind? Where were they when those kids hadn’t been seen for months? Where were you when they were cowering in the house, terrified beyond belief as they watched their demented mother kill their sisters one by one? Now you want to get paid?!

God don’t like ugly.

Vivrant Thang’s Real Name is Roberta Kelly

I actually had to give my damn self the side-eye this week.

My condo community is on the same property as a high school. Over the past couple of days, I’ve seen this kid walking to school who is the spitting image of Chris Brown, but with locs. If this blog goes dark, it’s because the Lord has struck me down for the unnatural thoughts that crept into my head. I must say at 6’2 or so, he certainly wasn’t carrying it like a kid. Clearly he had to be though.

No need to shame me in the comments. I have splashed bleach in my own eyes.

So yes, my side-eye has had a busy week, particularly since I had to turn it on myself!