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by vivrant thang on erykah badu pregnancy
SECOND POST FOR TODAY
What’s up fools?
You think I aint knowin yall broke Milli Vanilli
J.J. Fad wannabes aint over here gossiping bout me?
Yo how bout you buff these Pumas for 20 cents so your lights wont get cut off
You soggy breasts, cow stomachs
Yo take those baby GAP shirts off, too
You just mad cuz Payless ran out of plastic pumps for the after party
Yo by the way, go get my album
In case you’ve been living under a rock or better yet wrapped up in more pressing issues (which I’m too worn out to rant about but you should know where I stand), you may have missed the news that Ms. Badu is expecting her third child – presumably by her man, Jay Electronica. However, as someone said to me behind the scenes, it could very well be Grandmaster Flash’s kid for all we know. Badu marches to the beat of her own drum and who knows where the day will take her. I’m hoping it’s Big Daddy Kane’s. I’m just saying.
I actually called this when I saw her on the Vortex Tour in May. I remember telling my friend that it seemed like she was hiding something underneath that get up. When she came out in the more fitted outfit, she seemed more swole than usual. But hell, I was eating up some shit too when I was in a relationship so I didn’t think anything of it.
When I saw the news posted on one of my favorite celebrity blogs, Crunk and Disorderly, along with some picture evidence (post has since been deleted or I would link since I lubs me some Fresh), I admit my judgemental side eye started twitching. Three babies, three different baby daddies? It’s one thing to screw around but why keep getting knocked up?
Apparently a lot of folks out there on the Internets are asking the same questions, but not as nicely. I didn’t see the original post on the Okayplayer message board where some people were apparently calling her way out of her name and insulting her kids, something a black Momma is NOT going to stand for ( I’m wondering why Michelle will blow but that’s another post). I’m glad I missed it though. I checked out some other sites and you would think some of these folks are the Virgin Mary reincarnated.
Apparently, somebody done fucked up now because Ms. Badu took the time to fire off a very long missive, which I’ve excerpted here. If you want to read the whole thing and aren’t on Okayplayer, you can find it here:
HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THE QUEENDOM…AND MY CHILDREN AND MY INTELLIGENCE.
ive never been so disgusted in all of my life .
I’LL STATE MY PEACE
i am a great mother and care giver to my 2 children and to this world . my children are 2 of the kindest and happiest people i have met. I home schooled them and taught them the ways of good to the best of my ability. i am their doctor and their nurse . and even sometimes their mother and their father.
every relationship i have been in was because i loved the person DEARLY and was dedicated to us “exclusively” FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS.
the fathers of my children are my brothers and friends . we have a great deal of respect for one another and always will. WE LOVE OUR CHILDREN TO NO END. we took our own “vows” and CONTINUE TO UPHOLD THEM.
AND THAT IS WHAT THAT IS .
WHAT IS MARRIAGE ? WHO IS THE JUDGE? WE ONLY UNDERSTAND THE EXAMPLES WE ARE GIVEN ( well sort of)
WOULD IT “LOOK BETTER ” TO MARRY AND DIVIORCE AND MARRY AGAIN ? WOULD THAT BE MORALLY CORRECT ? WHATS THE DIFFERENCE ? the government’s involvement i guess. IDEALLY , IT WOULD BE EXCELLENT TO FIND THE MAN OR WOMAN WHO FULFILLS YOUR SPIRIT AND STAY FOR EVER AND EVER ( thru sickness and health till death do us part ) AND HAVE HEALTHY STRONG CHILDREN AS A RESULT OF A HEALTHY AND STRONG UNION. (this CAN happen … we need much training , however.)
IS IT REALLY “GOOD” TO STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE BOTH PARTIES ARE UNFULFILLED , LONGING FOR RELIEF , BRINGING one another down as a result of improper training , creating BAD ENERGY AND EXPERIENCES FOR THE CHILD TO REPEAT ? (As a product of that kind environment I say AAAA-MEN!)
HOW MANY OF YOU GREW UP IN 2 PARENT HOMES THAT WERE MISERABLE AS FUCK ? (Preach!)
OR 2 PARENT HOMES THAT WERE NOT PERFECT BUT WORKED?
HOW MANY GREW UP IN ONE PARENT HOMES WHERE THE MOTHER WORKED HARD TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE CARED FOR BUT SHE WASNT QUITE HAPPY?
HOW ABOUT A HOME WHERE THE FATHER WAS THE MAIN CARE GIVER AND DID THE BEST HE COULD -LACKING NURTURE?
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE A SIBLING THAT HAS A DIFFERENT FATHER OR MOTHER?
DOES HE OR SHE MEAN LESS TO YOU?
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE MORE THAN 1 MOTHER OR FATHER OF YOUR OWN CHILDren ?
HOW MANY OF YOU HAD /OR / ARE PARENTS RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO MAKE GOOD DECISIONS FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN ,THAT DONT QUITE FIT ANY OF THESE DESCRIPTIONS?
HOW MANY OF YOU STAY IN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS FOR FEAR OF GOING TO HELL?
HOW MANY HOS OUT THERE … THAT HAVE KIDS TO GET A PAYDAY?
HOW MANY PEOPLE GETTING THEY ASS KICKED AND ARE FORCED TO SUBMIT CAUSE YO MAMA GOT HER ASS KICKED?
THEN WHAT is CORRECT?
if i loose you as a fan because i want to continue to have children then FUCK OFF… WHO NEEDS YOU ….CERTAINLY NOT ME … KICK ROCKS … CALL TYRONE … PACK LIGHT …. BITE ME
i know you are having fun , but what if it were you and your children? my son is 10 . my daughter, 4 .
and if this post is not clear
kiss my placenta.
Ms. Badu is certainly making some good points here. As someone who grew up in a two-parent household that was miserable as hell and am currently in therapy to unlearn some of the bad behavioral traits that resulted, I can see why marriage and the traditional two-parent household isn’t always the answer. My mother stayed primarily to give me that. It definitely afforded me some better opportunities – such as a suburban upbringing, better education and exposure to things like travel and interacting with people from different cultures- things I may not have gotten growing up in Jersey City, NJ. However, she suffered and it’s definitely affected me in various ways. Erykah is trying to avoid that for her kids.
This three baby daddy thing still gets my side eye a twitching. But bottom line, who the hell am I to judge? I am not without sin myself so I don’t need to be casting any stones! Besides, as long as I don’t have to pay for the crumbsnatchers what do I care how many babies she has? I’m more concerned about Keylolo in the hood dropping kids left and right that my tax dollars have to feed. Can we get her ass to stop popping out kids instead of concerning ourselves with what a woman who has more money than most of us will ever see in a lifetime is doing with her vagina?
So no, Ms Badu, you won’t ever have to worry about losing a fan over here. At the end of the day, it’s all about the music.
Let me know what ya’ll think about this in the comments.
helluva read, vivrant.
i agree @ at the end of the day it’s all about the music.
i can’t understand how anyone can find fault in badu’s three children/three fathers. when i first read about it, i didn’t see anything wrong with it. in a perfect world i am sure everyone would like to see the perfect marriage/perfect family…blah blah blah, but since this isn’t a perfect world i can understand how, even a famous musician like badu, can appear like 50% of the world.
This is everywhere. LOL. She’s grown, it’s her life and her sh*t to deal with. Love her music and don’t care about her personal life. Would I make the same choices? No, but I’m not her and that’s all that matters. I swear stuff is like a virus on the blogosphere at time.
vivrant thang said:
@ don – nice to see a man’s perspective on this.
@sdg- it is everywhere! lol! I normally wouldn’t have mentioned this but I needed an excuse to use that picture and title. 🙂 Nah, I just saw a personal connection in some of her rant so I needed to jot it down. And yes, you hit the nail on the head. I wouldn’t have made the same choices but hey, I’m not E Badu. Never could be.
She is right. How would you feel if folks are coming down on you for your personal choices? Hell, I would be cussing up a storm tell folks to kiss my black independent ass. Who are we to judge. Seven and Puma have a mother who is headstrong and defys all definition. She is Badu! That is what is wrong with our black culture….we always trying to knock folks down. Hell, I wish I could be like Badu at least I know that the drum I walk to is the beat of my own.
LOL…”Kick rocks”…. I don’t think Ms. Badu stuttered AT ALL.
vivrant thang said:
@jamilah- thanks for stopping by and commenting. i like your style 🙂 stop back again. you’re right. that’s what i have to think of when i start judging. i go slap off if someone questions my personal choices. so who am i to judge? her celebrity makes people thinks that’s ok. and some would say that’t the price you pay for fame. i think she would have ignored it had folx in that community, which she thought was home, not started degrading her kids. you don’t mess with no black momma’s kids. plenty of them got kids so they should know that!
@sabrina- ya know i thought it was just my zany sense of humor that fell out at that line. something extra funny about that one.
I see we’re on the same wavelength as I blogged about this earlier this week. My sixteen year-old son said something very interesting and I’m going to sign off with it,
I ddin’t get the impression that any of the pregnancies were accidental. She seems like a grown-as woman who was making informed decisions about when, where and with whom she was gonna procreate.
How many cats out here calling her everything but a child of God can say the same?
vivrant thang said:
@jj – no, i never got that impression either. i do think she chose the fathers and planned the pregnancies. she had to. i don’t imagine there was an “oops” three times. as she said, she will keep having babies as long as she can. hey, if brangelina can do it, so can she! lol! bottom line as i keep saying, as long as i got to pay, i don’t care where she lay!
I think each person has to decide what is best for his/her children but eventhough I have met MANY black women who had two married parenrts who were dyfunctional…I have met AT LEAST 10 times more black women who had no fathers living with them and they have emotional scars due to the abandonment.
Black children who are born out of wedlock have the WORST set of statistics than black children who are not so we would be foolish to ignore all of the overwhelming research that OVERALL…black children DO NOT wind up better off when they are children of moms who have them out of wedlock.
Erykah Badu does not have to explain her morals to her fans…they can either buy her CDs or not by them…she has to live her own life as she sees fit.
Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
joshua a. washington said:
a friend told me about this a couple days after it was posted so i went okp an found the thread and let me tell you…i was flabbergasted at how people just called her out like that. i will be the first to admit that i have passed judgement on my fair share of celebrities and as i am growing up and especially becoming more in-tune with self i find it completely disgusting how we attack so many of our celebrities. i think erykah is a grown woman and as long as she is taking care of her children and do the best she can as she sees for her children who the hell are we to put our two cents into her life. americans are so close-minded in their thinking and in breaking the mold which is socially acceptable and “moral”. i don’t know why people can’t just choose not live there lives like her and move the fuck on. if you don’t like the fact that she has three kids by three different men then don’t you yourself do that, but don’t condemn her for it, just because you don’t agree with her. i respect e.badu for coming out and speaking for herself. she got mad props for it.
thanks for highlighting this. *smiles*
Sardonic Sistah said:
I loved that letter. I don’t necessarily agree with having a bunch of kids by multiple fathers, but it sounds like she knows how to mother them and she is committed to raising them. I’ve seen a lot of mothers who aren’t and at least she is financially stable to do it.
We have to take each person on an individual basis. I have a friend who has just one kid and she was in over her head because she couldn’t deal with the focus not being on her. Or what about jet setting parents who are rich and leave the child rearing to their nannies and boarding schools? Who complains about them.
I agree the best home is a two parent home with a mom and dad, but others with two moms, two dads, one mom, one dad work as well if the parent is dedicated, de-stressed, patient and loving.