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by vivrant thang on living the single life


Can we talk for a minute,
Girl I want to know your name
I started,
To write you letters,
But I wanted,
To be more clever,
I wanted to get down and sweet talk to you

Seems I’m getting a lot of my inspiration from the Steve Harvey Morning Show lately. They did a bit about how men these days don’t know how to talk to women. They don’t have any game, no real conversation. So texting is right up their alley. With texting, they don’t have to really express full thoughts. Or they can say things they don’t have the balls (my word, not theirs) to say face-to-face.

This was humourous to me because it’s something I’ve complained to my girlfriends about before. I’ve had dudes try to get to know me via text – asking me to relay my whole life story. I’ve also had instances where guys tried to have relationship-altering discussions via text. Not! I always shut that down immediately. I’m just not going to get into anything heavy via text. I know it may be a generational thing. Maybe that’s just the way it’s done these days. Call me old-school. You got to call and talk to me about anything serious.

For instance, I had been seeing this guy off and on for over a year. It ended because of something he did and I kept it moving and didn’t look back. One day out the blue, he texts me and says I’ve been on his mind and he just wanted to get that off his chest. That’s getting it off your chest? I couldn’t have been more underwhelmed.

Then there was another dude I was seeing for a while that I had to fire because he was being very inconsistent (the number one way to get shown the door when dealing with me). Again, I kept it moving and didn’t look back. One day out the blue, he texts me to say he got a new cell phone and could he give me a call that evening? How about “no”? Dude, just be a man about it! Pick up the phone and plead your case! Am I asking for too much here? How can I really take you seriously?

I’m just not for serious discussions taking place via text message. You can’t detect tone. You can’t see facial expressions. Actually, I prefer to do these things face to face so I can look into a man’s eyes and observe body language. Author and Washington Post columnist Natalie Moore agrees. Texting is for random asides; quick questions ; naughty thoughts (and even those I prefer to hear). To me, any man that is serious about you is not going to try to carry on the relationship that way. He wants to hear your voice. Nothing made me smile more during the day when the ex would call me randomly to see how my day was going. That’s how you do it.

Can you hear me now?


Ladies, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Does it make any difference to you whether a dude texts or calls you? Is this just a sign of the times?

Fellas, please chime in too. Am I expecting too much?

Update: Nope, don’t think I’m making too much of it. Therapist and radio talk show host, Audrey Chapman devoted a whole show to the topic, “Is ‘Texting’ Impacting Your Love Life?” featuring Natalie Moore.

Update 1/31: I bet Kwame Kilpatrick wishes he would have just talked to his former Chief of Staff. Caution, playas!

You know I have to end with the video. This joint from Little Tevin Campbell made my “Top 50” list. You know it was the jam!