Tags
better with time boney james and bilal, good soul music, women embracing their thirties, women in their thirties
by vivrant thang on all about me
It’s getting better with time
Getting better baby so much better baby
Getting better with time
Just like an old fine wine
So much better baby
Like an old soul record baby
– Boney James f/Bilal
Today, I’m celebrating my 31st birthday.
Last year around this time I was in Miami preparing for a day at the spa followed by a night of partying in South Beach. Leading up to the big day, I remember feeling a slight sense of panic at leaving my twenties behind. It was very slight though. Most of my friends are well over thirty and assure me that my thirties will be the best time of my life.
I’m only one year in and I can already reflect back on my twenties and say that I have certainly gotten better with time. I spent much of the decade trapped inside a fat suit that was prevented me from being as fly and fabulous as I am now…although I did a helluva job at pretending. I spent a large chunk of that period stuck in a job that was comfortable and safe but after a while, no longer challenged me or allowed me to showcase all of my professional talents. I allowed myself to be in a series of relationships with issue-laden commitment-phobes and fools that probably weren’t good for much more than what dangled between their legs. I now realize a lot of the time I lived in fear…fear of success, fear of being who the hell I am and demanding that everybody in my world accept that girl. Truth be told, I was still figuring out who that girl is. The picture is getting clearer everyday.
I don’t know what the rest of the year or the next five holds. I have a vision of what I would like to see happen but I know that ultimately I’m not completely in control. A girlfriend and former co-worker sent me a note today to say that her forty-something year old brother died of a heart attack in his sleep a few weeks ago. You just don’t know when your number will come up. She’s handling it as best she can because she has faith in God and his reasoning, although it must be hard.
That level of faith really inspires me and puts some things in perspective. As cliche as it is, I am going to continue to embrace what is present in my life and not focus on what’s lacking or what I’ve lost. I’ve been given another year. I’m able to pay my mortgage with weekly paychecks from my new job. I’m able to treat myself to the things that make me happy like concerts, new music, and vacations. I have a very close relationship with my mother and a few true lifetime friends. Doors are opening that will allow me to continue to pursue what I’ve been put here to do.
Most importantly, at 31, I’ve learned from the mistakes of my twenties. I am always cognizant of the fact that my time here can be up at any moment. I don’t want to look back when I’m old and gray (if I’m so fortunate) and realize I wasted my life stuck on repeat. Scared to step into my destiny. Dealing with the same fuckery in my relationships. Stagnant in my career.
So far, so good. Just like a fine wine, I’m just getting better with time.
What age or period of time in your life did you start coming into your own? If you’re not there yet, are you on your way?
SONGS IN THE KEY OF LIFE 
Happy Birthday! We share the same birthday..it’s mine today as well. I think life is a growth process. Some of us ‘get it’ a little earlier..some of us not until later on. I am happy about my journey..even though I just turned 24, I am grateful for every little twist, turn, up and down and I think I’m having the best year of my life yet. I guess my thought process changed and the way I see life and I see people. I’m about to do EVERYTHING I was sent to this earth to do and will do so with a passion for life, success and no fears of failure.
Here’s a toast to you. Happy Birthday.
Happy birthday, chica! This was yet another fantastic post and it’s only fitting on your born day. As you reflect on the past year and life in general it’s good to hear that you are becoming the person who you want to be. I’m not there yet, but I’m getting closer. Thanks for the inspiration.
Happy Birthday, Vivrant !!
You’re still a baby. LOL. I think you said it all when you spoke about how you’re going to continue to embrace what is present in my life and not focus on what’s lacking or what I’ve lost. This is where I currently stand @ 35 years old. The most important thing I always tell myself – as long as I strive I can reach even newer heights. Glad that your picture becomes clearer by the day.
Ironic, your bday being today. My youngest daughter turned 9 years old yesterday.
Happy Born Day!!!!
Happy Birthday, girlie!
The path of life often shows us lessons; it is whether or not we pay attention that dictates how we live our lives…
It sounds like you are paying attention…keep on keeping on!
Happy Birthday to you! Sounds like you’ve had some serious lessons learned. As I’ve progressed through my 30’s, I realize that I’m getting more and more comfortable w/me. There was no specific moment, just an aggregate.
All the best to you!
Nappy birfday, shawty.
I’m coming up on Jesus Age this year (33) and I feel you on all of this, particularly the mortality thing. If you’re extremely lucky, you might get 80 or more years and that’s just a blip in time. Most of us won’t get that much and a lot of the factors that determine that are pretty random. I’m tryna get my mind right and savor the journey.
Also, the friendship thing. If my friends could be financially quantified, my bank account would be bursting with lottery winnings. Community is what’s up.
I started getting it together towards the end of my 20’s. I’ve made a lot of strides (money management, relationships) and still have a ways to go on others (professional development, creative neuroses).
Happy Birthday, Vivrant!!
Hope life has many more to offer you. You are inspiring in more ways than you’ll ever know. Thank God for deliverance, and thank Him for growth! may many blessings be upon you. Love Ya!
Happy Birthday, Vivrant!
I know that you are out there somewhere right now putting back some good drinks. I wish I was hanging with you.
Happy belated birthday. May 20th is also my late grandmother’s birthday.
I’m on my way to coming into my own.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!
it seems like i keep coming up short with wishing people happy birthday on their birthday’s!
*smh*
@Maria (my bday twin) – Hope YOUR birthday was as nice as mine. You sound like a very mature 24-y.o. I’ve been meeting a lot of those lately. I LOVE this: I’m about to do EVERYTHING I was sent to this earth to do and will do so with a passion for life, success and no fears of failure.
Rock on with your bad self. Thanks for commenting and for the bday wishes.
@ Butta – Thanks girlie! There is so much in store for you. Your talent is immense. Just stay focused and keep pushing. Love ya!
@ Don – Baby?! Hmmph! LOL! Now if I was 25 and you were 45. LOL! I knew you would feel me on that since you expressed very similar sentiments in that excellent post. You got you a little Taurus lady on your hands huh? I know she’s the apple of your eye. We’re stubborn as all get out but still such a joy!
@ YZO- Thanks homie.
@ Marvalus – Thanks hon. And you ain’t said nothing but the truth! As I told you, I’m trying to pay attention. Lawd am I trying!
@ Danielle – Thanks for the bday wishes 🙂 And yes, have learned and am still learning…daily. ALL the best to you too namesake 🙂
@Stylus (oh wise one) – Savor the journey. *waving my MLK church fan* I often seem to do that when you speak. 🙂
Community is what’s up. Hmm…that’s a good way to look at it. My community is growing by leaps and bounds. Thanks for the birfday wishes!
@famous – Thank you! What a beautiful comment! Thank God for deliverance and growth indeed.
@Krush – Thanks! It’s good to see your “face” in the place. It disappeared from my top friends. LOL! Ironically at the time you sent this, I was knocking back a STRONG mojito. You know me TOO well. I just may be in the ATL a lot later this year so I’ll need a drinking buddy…that is if you’re still allowed out of the house by then! 🙂
@ph – Thank you. I saw that in your status update.
@JW – Hey, better late than never 🙂 Thank you 🙂
Oh! I see you got jokes. I got out all the time. You come through the A and I’ll show you the good spots.
Happy Belated Birthday!
Hope you enjoyed the day. And yes, you will enjoy your thirties; the things you learned in your twenties will serve you well (well, I think they did for me at least, er, most of the time).
Take it easy…
Happy Birthday … wish you continued success,stability, and all around happiness
@ vivrant thing: you know what…i always said jameelah was “different.” but now i know what it is – she’s stubborn. LOL. so yeah i guess that would make her different from her outgoing, sweethearted sister. too funny.
you are a baby. a sweet baby @ that.
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