This may sound silly but it’s true
So don’t pretend it ain’t you too
We all afraid of something here
Cause you ain’t human without fear
I’m scared to try cause I’m scared to fail….
Truer words have never been spoken. When I think back on my twenties, one of the few regrets that I have is that I spent so much time not pursuing opportunities that were presented to me. Although I’m currently in a fairly good place (when that devil procrastination isn’t holding me back), I can’t help but wonder on occasion what could have been if I hadn’t let fear stand in my way.
Now that I’m in my thirties, I’ve never been more aware that time’s a wastin. Each month as I write down goals towards the fulfillment of my five-year-plan, I start off with my new mantra, “Everything I’ve been looking for now finds me.” (I stole it.)
Seem silly? Read on.
I have to admit that although I hold a MA in English from U of Maryland, I never really considered myself an academic, which is one of the main reasons I didn’t go on to the Ph.D. level. I write too much in “everyday speak” for that. So when I was presented with the opportunity to write a review of the latest release from one of my favorite authors, I was very intimidated. Mosaic’s book reviews tend to be very literary and written by very accomplished writers, authors and academics.
However, my five-year plan will not allow for that kind of thinking. I’m supposed to be getting my side hustle on. Not to mention, how in the world do I expect to attract a man who will ride or die, believing I can do any and everything I put my mind to, if it doesn’t start right here.
So I jumped off the ledge and wrote it. Because I’m me, I sent it on to the editor with a ton of disclaimers, essentially letting her know that she could tear it apart as she wished. I wouldn’t be offended by her red pen.
She loved it. A month ago, I received my check in the mail for my first published article. A few days later, I got my copies in the mail. I saw my name in “lights” right next to a review for Conception by Kalisha Buckhanon (great book for you readers out there.)
Need more evidence?
*This opportunity didn’t work out for various reasons. I wrote this a few weeks ago in anticipation of my debut. I decided to proceed with posting it because I think the message is still an important one. I hope it’s right on time for somebody.*
For a few weeks, I’ve been alluding to a new project I’m undertaking that will be good for me as a writer and good for the exposure of this blog. Well today, I made my debut as XXX weekly music blogger. It’s an urban entertainment and lifestyle website based out of XXX with over 300K page views per month. I’ll be doing a lot of cross-posting so you shouldn’t miss anything. I also expect to be doing some album reviews over there as well that will be exclusive to the site. I’ll let you know though so you can check me out.
I didn’t seek this opportunity out. It came to me. I had second and third and fourth thoughts. It’s one thing to write for an intimate audience of 500-600 a day, but tens of thousands of people?
There goes that fear whispering in my ear again. What is it fear of?
Fear that I might actually be great?