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SONGS IN THE KEY OF LIFE

~ Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.

SONGS IN THE KEY OF LIFE

Tag Archives: What’s Going On

What’s Going On: Black Blogging to End AIDS

01 Saturday Dec 2007

Posted by Vivrant Thang in Feeding The Music Jones

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

aids, aids rate in washington dc, aids statistics, bet aids special, black aids institute, black people and aids, black people and hiv, black perspective blog, black women and aids, condoms, hiv, hiv prevention, hiv testing, i stand with magic, magic johnson and aids, rae lewis thornton, The AIDS Crisis, the body aids resources, visions by stevie wonder, What's Going On

by vivrant thang on world aids day

marvin.jpg

Mother, mother
There’s too many of you crying
Brother, brother, brother
There’s far too many of you dying
You know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some lovin’ here today

In light of World AIDS Day today, Yobachi Boswell over at The Black Perspective has issued a call to black bloggers to use their individual platforms to call attention to the AIDS crisis, particularly the ravaging effects on the Black community. I was so glad to have found his blog in time to get involved in this important effort.

When I was 17, I watched my uncle die of AIDS. I sat in that hospital room and held his hand as he painfully slipped away from us. It’s an image my mind will never erase. Although we were there almost everyday at the end, he died alone. My mother has still not forgiven herself for not being there.

Over the next several years, my great aunt lost all three of her sons to the disease. My uncle and my great aunt’ s sons were first cousins and they all were longtime intravenous drug users. We believe they passed the disease like they passed that needle.

Obviously, AIDS is no longer just a disease affecting drug users and homosexuals, although apparently, a lot of people are still quite ignorant about the facts.  AIDS is becoming known as a “Black disease,” which I take issue with. However, when you see these stats, one is hard-pressed to disagree.

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  • AIDS remains the leading cause of death for Blacks ages 25 to 44, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
  • Blacks make up just 13% of the population of the USA, but they account for 50% of all new cases of HIV.
  • Black women account for 70% of all women with HIV.

Here in Washington, DC, the news gets worse.

  • One in 20 D.C. residents is believed to be HIV-positive, and one in 50 residents has full-blown AIDS.

  • Although blacks account for 57% of the city’s population, they account for 81% of new HIV cases

  • 37 percent of the new cases were a result of heterosexual transmission, compared to 25 percent that resulted from men having sex with men.

These statistics are extremely sobering. Black women, in particular, are dying from this disease. We have got to take responsibility for our own well-being. Several of my friends have never had an HIV test *, even though they haven’t always practiced safe sex. I think that’s ridiculous in this day and age not to know your status. According to BlackAmericaWeb, “more than one million Americans are estimated to be living with HIV, and one-fourth of those individuals are believed to be unaware of their infection, underscoring the need for expanded HIV testing.”

So on this 2007 World AIDS day, I implore everyone who may read this to:

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  • Get informed

  • Get tested

  • Get involved

I know my status, but through research for this post and the ones I’ll post throughout the week, I’ve found there were so many things about the disease that I didn’t know. I suggest taking this anonymous quiz to assess your knowledge and your risk level. Next year, I have plans of joining a nonprofit board and I’m think the population I want to serve are people of color living with HIV and AIDS. I need to get involved. I know my family members looking down on me would be proud.

Here are some HIV and AIDS resources of interest because I just know after reading those statistics that you want to be as informed as possible.

  • Get a variety information at The Body’s African-American HIV/AIDS Resource Center
  • Visit the Black Aids Institute, a policy organization dedicated to ensuring our self-preservation
  • Go to the official World Aids Day site for information about activities and events being held around the world
  • Sister Wisdom is an HIV/AIDS portal for Black women
  • Listen to the NPR broadcast, “HIV/AIDS Is Washington’s ‘Modern Epidemic’ featuring Rae Lewis Thornton, an HIV/AIDS advocate and 21-year-survivor (raelewisthornton.org)
  • Watch an encore presentation of the HIV/AIDS special “What U Know Bout That? Rap-It-Up Sex Quiz” on BET. It will air on Saturday, Dec. 1 at 7:30 p.m. ET/PT.
  • Stand with Magic and Cookie in the fight against AIDS and here

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As I mentioned, I’ll be “black blogging to end AIDS” everyday until Friday, in addition to my regular posts. So please keep reading and commenting. Let me know how AIDS epidemic has affected you. Don’t say it hasn’t. With these kind of statistics, it’s affecting everybody.

I’m signing out with “Visions” by Stevie. It makes me feel good. Hope it does the same for you.

But what I’d like to know
Is could a place like this exist so beautiful
Or do we have to find our wings and fly away
To the vision in our mind?

I’m not one who make believes
I know that leaves are green
They only change to brown when autumn comes around
I know just what I say
Today’s not yesterday
And all things have an ending

* One of the above-mentioned friends informed me that she finally got tested the day before World AIDS day. Have you?

You can find all the posts in this series here.

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I’m Coming Out!

20 Tuesday Nov 2007

Posted by Vivrant Thang in Feeding The Music Jones

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

coming out, diana ross, donnie, gay pride, i'm coming out, jasmyne cannick, luther vandross, rahsaan patterson, the colored section album, the daily news album, What's Going On, wine and spirits album

diana.jpg 

I’m coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
There’s a new me coming out
And I just had to live
And I wanna give

I was so glad to read on Jasmyne Cannick’s excellent blog that Rahsaan Patterson recently came out in an interview with BET J.  Another of my favorite soul artists, Donnie, also came out earlier this year around the time he released his second album, The Daily News.

Bravo for both of them!

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I attended a Donnie show earlier this year and he definitely seems much happier and was actually having fun up there. When I’d last seen him perform in support of the release of his first album, The Colored Section, there was a darkness surrounding him. I’m glad he’s come out into the light. During the performance, he spoke of how he had to “deal with some shit” before he could give us more music. I’m so glad he and Rah P had that kind of courage to Live in the Light. True fans already know…and could care less. Just give us the music! Whether you’re singing about a he, she, or a shim, I’m not here to judge you. Just keep my body rocking!

I just wish Luther had been able to do the same thing before he left us. I wish he had been able to find the love he sang about and live out loud with it.

Check out some video I captured from this Donnie performance. These are two cuts from The Colored Section.

Cloud 9

 

People Person

 

The time has come for me
To break out of the shell
I have to shout
That I’m coming out

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Other Woman

20 Tuesday Nov 2007

Posted by Vivrant Thang in Feeding The Music Jones

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

being the chick on the side, being the other woman, cheating, mary j blige song no happy holidays, nina simone song other woman, no happy holidays, relationships, steve harvey morning show strawberry letter 23, the other woman, What's Going On

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But the other woman will always cry herself to sleep
The other woman will never have his love to keep
And as the years go by the other woman
Will spend her life alone

This is a repost I originally wrote on my Myspace blog a year ago. I hadn’t planned to post this today but I was inspired by the Strawberry Letter 23 read on the Steve Harvey morning show today. I normally don’t listen to his show, but I was flipping stations and happened to catch it. I’ve heard about these soap opera-ish letters they read on the show from listeners seeking advice on impossible situations. I would just link to it but it seems like they change it everyday so here’s an excerpt.

Dear Steve, I am writing this letter because of a current situation in my life. Theres this man in my life and hes actually in the military as of now. I really care about him, i can actually say i love him & i’m pretty sure he feels/felt the same. See, the real drama to the story is HE’s MARRiED! Now i’m no homewrecker or anything like that. I’ve actually never been involved with a married man until now. The story i have from him is basically in order to enter his unnamed branch of military he would have to sign over his immediate rights to their child unless he either A.) didn’t join that branch of military, or B.) married the mother of the child. This man has been straight out honest with me from day one on everything so i have no reason to doubt that someone really told him this.

They married toward the end of last year and he says he wasn’t happy before the marriage and isn’t happy now. Then get this, he says that i am too good for this situation, that i’m not made to be a side girl, that i’m made to be somebodys wife and he can’t give me that at the moment, so he’s gonna remove me from the situation. I argued with him and we resolved it and continued or “relationship”.

A few days later he tried a more dominate approach to get me out of the situation and basically told me he hated me, he didn’t wanna ever hear my voice again, etc. but at that time he stayed on the phone with me for 3 hrs in the early a.m. just listening to me talk & cry. I kept hearing him pause as if he wanted to say i don’t mean these things, i just don’t want you to get hurt, but he didn’t. So we stopped talking. He’s coming home soon and we were supposed to spend the holidays together but now thats been crushed. I really love this man, and am debating if i should contact him before he leaves to come home, even though he told me not to contact him anymore. I feel that he’s putting up a front because he doesn’t want me to be crushed if he eventually decides to stay with his wife, which he actually vocalized in the past. I told him plenty times before that i’m a big girl, i can handle it, and that he is worth the wait, but he refuses to put me through it. In a way i think thats one of the sweetest things i’ve ever seen done, but at the same time i feel that he’s deserted me and given up on our probable chance at real love. I’m going to pray about it and actually just take some time to think deeply and no later than tonight i’m making my decision because he leaves tomorrow. I know this seems dumb, but i really love this man. The reason i’m in such a rush is because after hes home for two weeks, he’s moving to a base clear across from our origin. On the opposite coast of the united states.

other_woman.jpg

I know, I know.

Steve Harvey hit this woman back with real talk. She might listen, but I doubt she hears him. She’s gone. However, this situation made me remember this post:

I have two friends that are currently playing the position of the “other woman.” I talked with one via e-mail today and she admitted that she was catching feelings. They had deep conversations and he was doing all the cute “boyfriend-like” things. He’d even met her mother. I read between the lines and saw that she was asking me not to judge her, especially since she hadn’t heeded my previous warning that this couldn’t possibly turn out good.

Trust me. I know.

Two close members of my family played the other woman role for years. One even conceived a child with her married man in hopes that his wife would leave him. Where’s he at? With his wife…and barely seeing his child, who happens to be his spitting image. No child is a mistake. I just can’t imagine looking at your son and seeing your former married lover’s face everyday. That has to be painful.

I try not to judge because for one, who am I to do that? Besides, ultimately, grown folks are going to do what they want. I told the other friend that she wouldn’t stop messing with her married man until something really bad happened. She agreed.

When I talk to them about their situations, I try to remain neutral because both of them express regret about what they are doing. They aren’t proud of it, but they are really feeling these dudes. They aren’t dealing with wealthy men so it’s not about golddigging. These men make them feel good. That’s what they get out of it.

As I listen to them talk, I try to understand, although I’m not sure it’s something that is meant to be understood. Hey, I’m no angel. I’ve committed adultry in my head. Passed time on the Metro by mentally undressing a married man or two. I’ve had my fair share of offers. Most recently, a married dude (who wasn’t wearing a ring so I was in the dark at first) spit some pretty good game trying to recruit me to his harem. I listened intently because I like to keep up on how players play.

At one time, I wondered if someone had stuck a sign on my back advertising a freebie to any married men that applied. I guess the one thing that has always kept me from going that route (besides witnessing first hand the pain it caused in my own family) was karma. Years from now, I don’t want Ms. New Booty coming at my husband because of some dirt I did years earlier. What goes up, must come down.

Although as my Momma always says, “If you put p*ssy in a man’s face, he’s gonna eat it.” Yup, that’s real talk from the Pastor’s wife. (I would still like to wear my rose-colored glasses on this one for a while longer). So I know it could happen anyway, but I don’t want to increase the chances. I already know that I am not a woman that can recover from that, especially if we’re married. I’m not trying to be driven crazyderanged like L Boog…errr…Ms. Hill. So I have to admit, those thoughts kept me from crossing the line even when it was HARD…and I mean HARDDD. (Like…Idris Elba hard. Feel me?)

Besides that, I know me. If I really have strong feelings for a man, a piece of his love is not going to be enough. This woman has big appetites that a part-time lover can’t satisfy. Not to mention, my love language is quality time. Playing the side piece gets you very limited quality time. I would imagine it’s particularly hard during the holiday season to be in love with a man for whom you’re a secondary obligation.

mary2.jpg

Christmas you weren’t with me
New Year’s Eve you were not around
Valentine’s came and went
Makes me wonder where your time was spent
Fireworks on the Fourth of July
Thanksgiving was another lie
Your family has never met me
And you’ve never met mine, no happy holiday

-No Happy Holidays

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Makes Me Wanna Holler : Apparently, I’m “Uptight and Bourgie”

05 Monday Nov 2007

Posted by Vivrant Thang in Feeding The Music Jones

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

babies, essence magazine, kids, makes me wanna holler song by marvin gaye, single mother hood, single parents, What's Going On

marvin1.jpg

Oh make me wanna holler / throw up both my hands
Oh, make me wanna holler/They don’t understand

Apparently, 2008 will be a baby extravaganza. I know at least five women who are expecting, one of whom is very close to me. It was a bit unexpected, but she’s happy. Another friend is expecting twins after a long and expensive road to conception. I’m thrilled for her. So babies have been on the brain lately, but not in the way you would think.

This past Saturday, I was at my monthly Essence Magazine / Jungle Fever-esque sista girl discussion with a group of black professional women, all between the ages of 28-38. It’s not a set group that attends everytime, but the majority of the women that come are never married with no children. The conversation flowed from topic to topic as it usually does when a group of women get together.

Believe it or not, we rarely discuss this, but as fate would have it, we got on the topic of who among us had gotten “the talk” from our doctors about conception over the age of 30. Many of the women said that their doctors told them they had better hurry up and get pregnant because the clock was ticking. Not that they had any medical issues that would be alleviated with a pregnancy. Now that, I could understand. Nope…just that their eggs were becoming hard-boiled.

I haven’t gotten the talk from my doctor yet. She just writes my prescription for the baby blocking stuff and sends me on my way. I don’t have any female issues so I would look at her cross-eyed if she even fixed her lips to say that, especially since she doesn’t see any indication of a change in my marital status. I am just turning 30 though so it may be coming.

My issue is why is it acceptable to tell a single woman that she better hurry up and have kids just because she’s getting older? Or better yet, why does it seem that something is wrong with a single woman over 30 if she doesn’t have kids? When did that become the norm?

Lately, when meeting men and they find out my age, they ask “You don’t have any kids?” Or “Why don’t you have any kids? Don’t you like kids?” Pardon moi, but I’m here talking to you, which means I’m single. So it would follow, in my “skewed” line of thinking, that could be the very reason why I don’t have any kids. I mean have we gotten to the point that single motherhood and out-of-wedlock births are par for the course?

Then on the flip side, two of my girlfriends that got married last year said that even before they got engaged, people were already asking the couple when they were going to get pregnant?! I mean can they make it down the aisle and make this thing legitimate? Can the ink dry on the marriage license before conceiving a little crumb snatcher? I just don’t get that.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not certainly trying to down single mothers. It’s much harder work in one day than I do in a week. Hell, I was raised by one for several years after the death of my father and before she remarried. I am also not against women who decide – look, I want a child. The man may or may not come, but I want to be a mother. In a way, I admire that. That’s not my personal choice, but I can understand it. When the maternal instinct is there, it can be strong. I’ve had it myself for years, but I’m not interested in that kind of lifestyle change while I’m single. I have no desire to do it on my own. Call me and women like me uptight and bourgie all you want. Just make sure the t-shirts are cute.

 

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